spacefem: (Default)
[personal profile] spacefem
the top post on r/mademesmile is this wedding entrance video thing, where we see a re-enactment of a woman being born, being a little kid, going to school, then she's a bride and the shadow curtain lifts and mom walks her down the aisle. all the top comments love it, so I guess I should too? but it weirds me out for some reason.

I've been to weddings where the tables were decorated with photos of the bride and/or groom as children, and to weddings with slideshows of them growing up so we could see their whole lives, and that also weirds me out. I love weddings, I'm a married person who had a great wedding, but I'm struggling to put into words what's wrong with the kid photos. it's almost like saying "we WERE kids, and now we are GROWN UP see because we've made it to the WEDDING part! Achievement unlocked!"

I had childhood photos of me at my high school graduation party so relatives could all tell me I grew up too fast... but at a wedding? a wedding is a thing you do, not a milestone like graduation. it's not a sign that you've grown up! I've known people who got married at 19 and people who got married at 60... it's totally unrelated to age, right? I also know some fantastic grownups who never got married, and some married people who act like children.

I'm not usually this cynical I promise! there's lots to celebrate at a wedding! family, friends, love, dancing, free cake... you talk about the couple and how they're going to be great for each other. I just didn't want photos of me slowly getting things in life... first steps, skinned knees, learning to read, GETTING A MAN.

Date: 2022-03-30 10:20 am (UTC)
silviarambles: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silviarambles
I know that for some women getting married is a dream coming true, it isn't the same for me but I respect that, just as I totally get people want to celebrate this milestone. But seeing your marriage so entrenched in the trajectory of your life growth? I don't know if it's healthy. I don't feel the need to get married and I don't want children, does that mean that my growth as an individual is somehow stunted? Also, mine is a firm choice while for others it might be a forced choice, so how damaging for someone's feeling of self-worth is it to portrait marriage through this perspective?

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